Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
When I first learned this term in the therapist’s office, it was delivered with a strong feeling of fear. Even the name elicits fear, it’s big and long and just seems too big to handle. When I feel overwhelmed and doubt my ability to achieve success…I get STUCK. This is EXACTLY how your child with ODD feels everyday when their skills aren’t enough to meet life’s expectations. So you’re child is STUCK and it’s likely you are STUCK and now you have even more fear…but you don’t have to be afraid…you can CHOOSE a HAPPINESS PERSPECTIVE!
When you truly understand a problem, brake it down into manageable pieces and then work to solve it you know what happens…problems get solved…and you have less to fear!
Let’s brake down Oppositional Defiant Disorder!
Oppositional = Resistance
So what! There is opposition/resistance in ALL things! It’s part of our human experience. Newton's Third Law: Action & Reaction states that for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction. If object A exerts a force on object B, object B also exerts an equal and opposite force on object A. In other words, forces result from interactions. That’s not big scary new news, you have seen this principle in action every day of your life…it’s EASY!
Defiant = Willingness to Fight
We are ALL defiant! Everyone fights for things that they want. Everyone fights against things we feel are unfair, wrong or dangerous. It’s one of our brains main jobs to keep us safe. The Fight-or-Flight response is an automatic physiological reaction to an event that is perceived as stressful or frightening. The perception of threat activates the sympathetic nervous system and triggers an acute stress response that prepares the body to fight or flee. We’ve all been doing it automatically as long as we’ve been alive…it’s EASY!
Disorder = A State of Confusion
We ALL get confused, muddled, disoriented, puzzled, bewildered, stumped, unbalanced, disoriented, troubled, clueless, distracted, unclear…because we are ALL imperfect! It’s EASY to understand that our child doesn’t know everything, hasn’t figured some things out and hasn’t developed every possible skill. It’s EASY to be confused ourselves on how to handle new challenges. It’s EASY to overcome confusion! 1. Accept where you are…you are STUCK! 2. Be Still…breathe 3. Remember you are stuck for a reason. 4. Become Aware of your thoughts and focus on what you know. 5. Be Patient as you work to figure it out!...it’s EASY!
YAY, your child's ODD isn't a problem! It's just a description of normal human emotions and their behaviors are simply their natural response to those feelings.
We all experience these same feelings, but they are just STUCK experiencing them far more often. Those feelings and behaviors aren't the problem and they aren't making you STUCK either! So what is the problem and how do you and your child get UNSTUCK?
Oppositional Defiant Disorder isn’t something to be afraid of. It’s just part of the human experience. Everything in life is meant to help you grow and become the best version of yourself. ODD is a part of your life experience.
You can resist it, fight against it and stay confused about it….or you can embrace it as a learning opportunity and allow it to propel you to a life better than you ever imagined…A life with a Happiness Perspective!
If you're struggling with a child diagnosed with ODD, I'm here to help!
Please Sign-up for your FREE "Stop the Fight!" Mini-Session and we'll discuss your biggest problem with ODD and develop a strategy to help you "Stop the Fight!" TODAY!