My Story - A Happiness Perspective
Daughter of God & Disciple of Christ, Child, Wife, Mother, Sister & Friend, Nature Lover & Corgi Mom, Happiness Perspective Life Coach
MY STORY -"Your Life, Reimagined...Mind, Body & Spirit!"
The titles we go by say a lot about who we are and who we are striving to be. Throughout life we try on different titles, some we treasure and others we use for a time and then choose to leave them behind. Regardless of our titles, our circumstances, our behaviors or our beliefs, our value as a human being never changes. I truly believe that each and every one of us is doing the best we can. We all deserve to be loved and valued for who we are inside, regardless of how we show up in the world. This human experience is meant to try and test us, it’s meant to help us grow and to help us become the very best version of ourself.
My journey through this human experience, like yours, has been filled with joy and disappointment, miracles and doubt, pure happiness and deep sorrow. It has been a FULL life experience, for you can’t experience the serenity of the calm still waters without knowing the battering of the waves in the height of the storm….and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
I was raised in a beautiful small town in the mountains of Utah, the oldest of 12 children! My family life was filled with love and service. We spent our time working and playing together; I have loved hard work and the outdoors ever since. I held many different jobs growing up and developed a unique set of skills and interests. I’m glad I don’t still have those job titles attached to my name, but I still use each of the skills I learned from those days: babysitter, builder, baker, scheduler, trainer, night watch, DJ, tech support, therapy aide, maid, secretary, vacation planner, assistant, manager…
When I was in college God started inspiring me to change my plans each time I got close to achieving my goals. In just 4 years I made major change after major change in my life. Each change came as a result of personal spiritual promptings I received telling me my life should go in a new direction. The choice was mine but my motos then were “DO GOD’S WILL IN YOUR LIFE” and “IT WILL ALL WORK OUT”. These changes included moving to four different universities in different towns, getting married to my high school sweet heart, and ultimately changing my major just after receiving the hard earned acceptance to my master’s degree program. These changes were difficult & discouraging at times but they were also filled with faith and trust that God new best.
At the end of those challenging 4 years, I graduated with my Bachelor’s degree from Utah State University and the LDS Institute of Religion and I began creating a family of my own. Within the next 8 years I had 6 children and was blessed with the privilege of being a stay at home Mom. I will always treasure those years with my young family at home (it is my moment in time I have to resist longing to go back to).
My years with small children at home were physically exhausting and filled with trials that helped me learn patience, consistency and determination…My motos then were “YEILD YOUR HEART UNTO GOD” and “LOVE IS THE ANSWER”. I was determined to have a successful marriage and to do the very best I could in raising my children. I am in no way perfect but I have always been very intentional about my life, seeking to learn and grow and willing to fail again and again until I get it right. I filled my time with service in my home and in my community; teaching and mentoring youth and adults has been one of the greatest joys of my life. As my children grew older my motos became “CHOOSE HAPPINESS” and “LET’S SOLVE SOME PROBLEMS TOGETHER”.
As time moves on, God moves people to learn and grow in new ways and in new places. As my children became teens we faced new challenges together. For me teenagers were mentally exhausting as I found myself constantly trying to find new solutions to the ever growing problems we were facing. Serious problems involving mental, physical and spiritual health stretched me to seek more answers from God and to work even more diligently to build strong relationships. In time relationships began to change and be strained almost beyond their limits. It seemed suddenly and unexpectedly my life and my children’s lives weren’t going in the direction I always thought they would. I didn’t know what else to try and everyone just kept telling me I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
Young children were physically exhausting, teens were mentally exhausting and young adults were emotionally exhausting for me. Suddenly there were no solutions I could find for our current problems… and despite my vigilant efforts, my mind was spinning in worry, confusion and doubt that things would ever work out. My emotions were at times out of control. I sought help and guidance from family, friends, religious leaders and paid professionals. Advice we received from professional therapists on how to help our child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder just made thing worse! There was no one that could help us! Nothing worked. Nothing solved the problems we were facing. I didn’t know where to turn for help. I had always tried to do all the things God had asked of me, I had sacrificed, I had loved, I had been faithful, I had kept trying, I never gave up, but nothing I did seemed to solve my problems…Where was His last minute change in the plan now….How was He going to make this all work out…I just didn’t see a solution anywhere on the horizon.
Then one day I found myself standing on my drive way with the policeman’s calling card in my hand, watching my child running away again and the policeman telling me to let him go and to call me if I needed anything else….and my heart finally broke…and then it happened again…and again...and then another child ran…and then another left the path I had laid out so nicely for them…the path that seamed so obvious and clear…the path to happiness for all of us and now I worried maybe for none of us…because now I was stuck, unable to move forward without them by my side…unable to let go…unable to see a way to get them back and unable to see a way for myself to move forward.
I began to brake more and more inside while trying to hold it all together on the outside. I kept trying but nothing was working, my problems were getting bigger like a wave that just keeps building in the storm and I was broken inside and drowning. My motos became “FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT" and “PUT ON A HAPPY FACE” (see photo :)…but they weren’t really working, I was resisting and avoiding every negative feeling and thought until they would just overwhelm me. It took 5 years of trying and failing, trying and failing, trying and failing…It took days and nights soaking my pillow with tears, it took holding on with every fiber of my being to keep me from running away myself, to keep me anchored to my Savior and to my family….and then finally I figured it out!
I came to the point where I had to face my greatest fears and find answers to my biggest questions….”What if they all leave me and I find myself alone?”… “What if none of my children choose to believe me, am I a failure?”… “What if It doesn’t work out at all how I planned?”. I had to find new ways to think, new answers to my own questions, a new path forward. I couldn’t keep trying the same things and get different results. I realized I had given away all my personal power. I had hinged my happiness and success in life on the actions of my children. I didn’t want to do that any more. I finally decided to take emotional responsibility for myself and to own every decision I made. I decided the problems I was facing wasn’t because of anything my kids were doing or not doing, it wasn't because I was doing any thing wrong, it was because of how I was thinking about it all. I realized that I don’t need to worry about my kids, because I had already taught them what they needed to know and I could trust them to figure out what’s best for themselves. The best way I could help my kids was by living an amazing life for myself. I sought out personal inspiration on how I could think differently, how I could Mom differently, how I could show up in the world differently then I had before. I didn't have to change my whole life, I just had to change my thinking! I acknowledged to myself that the Mom I had been was exactly the Mom I needed to be then, but that I needed to be a different kind of Mom now. I needed to rediscover what I wanted in my life, how I could define success for myself, how I could create a beautiful life for myself. I had to learn to trust myself and to trust God all over again. I had to regain my confidence that I do know what’s best, that I already have the answers inside of me or that I could find those answers. I just had to change my own mind, nothing else!
Suddenly the journey was worth it and I could see all I had learned and the relationships I had built and the strength I had developed while battling the storm. Nothing had changed on the outside but I finally took responsibility for being the captain of my soul. I’m not responsible to fix other people’s problems. I can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. I can’t solve other people’s problems for them. I can’t save them from their storms. I can’t control what other people say and do, and I don’t want to do that. Everyone has the right to live their own lives the way they want to. It's not my problem. Figuring out how to live my own life with a happiness perspective is enough responsibility. I’ve got my own ship to sail and there are sure to be more storms in my future. I need to stay focused on the horizon ahead of me, I can’t keep looking back or looking down. I don’t need to try and take responsibility to manage other people’s emotions…other people’s lives. I don’t know what’s best for them, only they know that. I can trust God because he has proved himself time and time again. He can deliver them and me! Saving is Jesus' job, and He is really good at it!
I still want to do God’s will in my life! God does know what I need most and things will all work out! I want to feel all life’s emotions and yield my heart unto God because God’s plan is love for everyone! I want to keep choosing happiness and encouraging others to do the same because together we can solve all the problems we are facing! I want to be vulnerable and open with myself, to own the hard parts of life and embrace the beautiful parts of who I am.
After 5 years of never giving up, of allowing myself to be vulnerable, of learning again what I already knew, my new motos became “TRUST GOD” and “BE STILL”. I stopped trying to “Let Go” and instead I decided to “LET GOD!” It’s amazing the difference one little letter can make. I decided to stop doing things because “I have to” or because “I need to” and I do them now because “I want to”. I stopped accepting the answer of “I don’t know” and now I say “I don’t know YET!”. Things are no longer “Too Hard” instead “I’m still figuring it out”. I'm honest with myself; "I'm a great Mom", "I am showing up to support with love", and "I make my life easy and fun". I'm practicing new thoughts like these every day! I know God cares about me and He cares about what I want. He cares about what’s important to me and that means He doesn’t always give me what I ask for because he has something better instore for me than I could have ever imagined.
I remember the November day I felt the physical, emotional and mental burden of all that sorrow and worry just lift off of me, and I knew I had finally turned it all over to my Savior, Jesus Christ. He knows how it feels. He is intimately aware of my situation and my suffering. I know He can be trusted to carry my heavy load when it is too heavy for me to bear. It was then that God began to open up to me a new life path. I was seeking a passion project, something to fill my life and time with a new purpose and excitement. I was seeking “MY NEXT RIGHT STEP” something I could do and be “ALL IN”. Something to fill the void I had made letting God take of all that worry and sorrow I now no longer had to waste my time and energy thinking about. It didn’t come all at once, but bit by bit during a year of pondering and stillness, God opened up a vision to me of a future I could have never imagined for myself.
It began with self-care and goal setting, then grew with service and working for my brother managing his e-commerce website. Then God told me to get 2 puppies (expect the unexpected when following God’s promptings) which has filled my life with new joy and the ability to be happy and confident when I’m on my own. Then he began to fill my mind with programs to enrich my life and the lives of others. Programs that would help me teach what I had learned in my 5 year journey across the deep stormy waters of my mind. He began to give me very specific promptings like to sign up for The Life Coach School Certification Program (that was unexpected since I didn’t even know what a life coach was) but I did it, Like get a domain name (what’s that?), start a business Instagram account and post on it (Yeiks!), start building your website and getting clients to coach (now not later) and on and on.
Now I have a growing life coaching business where I get to coach and teach people all over the world with my Happiness Perspective Model and Programs. Every day I get to be the hand of God in people’s lives and I get to see them learn and grow and move through the process I went through at incredible speeds. The tools and content I’ve learned at The Life Coach School have melded together perfectly with the programs I have already been inspired to develop. They support beautifully the lessons I learned through a life time of struggle and I’m still learning and developing new ideas that I just can’t wait to share with the world!
I see now how every change in my plan, every redirection, every challenge and every triumph have come together at this point and at this time for me to fulfill God’s mission for me here on the earth, to be an example, to show people how to develop a Happiness Perspective. I feel so GRATEFUL for my husband who has stood by and supported me every step of the way. I am my hardest client, but he is the first Dad I ever coached. I coached him through infants and toddlers, through childhood, teens and the young adult years and I'm still coaching him and cheering him on. I love coaching Dads! They often feel like bystanders, backup or emergency response but reality is they are ESSENTIAL, first responders and key to successful parenting. They can do things that Moms can't do. They have new ideas, incites and approaches that are necessary for success in raising their children! They often don't realize the power of their influence and the impact they are making on the dynamics of their family.
Dads and Moms, you can solve EVERY problem you face in life by reclaiming your power to Choose Happiness for yourself and you don’t need anyone else to agree or change in that process. You do need a support group and someone to help you see past your own thought errors. I’m excited to live my life every day and I’m excited to go to work every day to share this message. I am passionate about this mission God has given me! As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I believe we are all children of God. That Jesus Christ lived and died for each one of us, because we are all worthy of His love and sacrifice. It is my life’s purpose to strive to intentionally live my life in the way I believe God wants me to live it, and to allow others to do the same. I believe that He knows what’s best for me in every situation. He knows what I need to learn and to grow and to become like Him. He knows what will make me happy in the long run and He trusts me to make my own decisions. He knows what I am capable of.
God has already sent me a Savior. He has promised to lead and guide me, to always be with me and to carry my burdens, if I will let Him. I TRUST Him and I know you can too! My Happiness Perspective Model incorporates the Mind, Body and Spirit. If you are willing to be vulnerable and to allow yourself to look at your thoughts in a new light, you too will be inspired how to change your life, how to trust yourself and how to trust your God, and you will never be the same again! I am now, more than ever before, striving to take upon myself the name of Jesus Christ and his many titles. I treasure each one: Peacemaker, Advocate, Shepard, Example, Creator, Beloved, Teacher….there are so many I need to work on…I’ll just keep trying them on until they fit. Goal #1 Success, Goal #2 To Fail Again and Again and Again and never give up trying new ideas because it’s in the failing where the learning and growing and becoming really happens!
Are you searching for greater happiness in your life? Christ taught the Plan of Happiness. He showed how to CHOOSE Happiness by exercising your agency to follow His example and teachings. What are you thinking? What are you feeling? What are you doing? What are you not doing? Why? As you ask yourself these 5 questions, you are creating awareness. When you become more aware, your opportunity to exercise your agency is increased because you are able to see you have choices to think differently…. to believe differently.
Happiness is a skill! It is something you can practice and get better at. My coaching frameworks are designed to be learned one skill at a time. As you develop these skills, line upon line, here a little and there a little, your life and your perspective will CHANGE. Change takes PATIENCE because lasting change takes time!
Do you feel like you are drowning? Christ has invited each of us to take Him by the hand. His hand is already outstretched. You can reach out your hand and He will lift you up, He will guide you, and He will hold your hand every step of the way. You have to CHOOSE to reach out and hold on. If that seems difficult to you, remember you are not alone! I am here, and others are here, to give you a helping hand until you have a firm grasp on His. I can give you the tools and insights you need to see clearly God’s hand in your life.
It takes DECIDING. It takes TRUST. It takes WORK. If your HEART & MIND are WILLING to do those three things… WILLING to go through the CREATION PROCESS of overcoming and becoming again and again… Then with time and with my Happiness Perspective Programs you can reclaim CONTROL of your life, your relationships, and your future. You can LIVE a FULL LIFE! You can gain CONFIDENCE and TRUST in yourself, in the Savior Jesus Christ and in GOD!
YOU CAN ACHIEVE A HAPPINESS PERSPECTIVE!
I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!
Just CHOOSE to reach out!